A World All My Own
by Lecta
Summary: SessKag? When the strain finally gets to our favorite miko, she falls strangely ill. It's fatal. And to make matters worse, Inuyasha chooses this time to betray Kag. She's left hopeless, sure to die, all alone. Or will Fluffy come to the rescue? Yeah righ


Okay. I don't own any of the characters. No law suites please.

This fic is for my dedicated readers who wanted a Sessh/Kag with my other fic. Sorry guys, but Naraku won fair and square. It's going to be pretty different from my other one…whatever it was called. I don't remember.

I WILL get around to updating TIARD (Trapped in a Raindrop). I promise. I'm just having trouble with my comp. As for the other one, I'll have to have my grandma send me the file for whatever chapter I'm on.

Whatever. 

This one'll get angsty…I hope. There will be fluff in later chapters, and plenty of bashing. ^.~ There will be romance, if you couldn't tell already… O.o. Maybe I'll post a lemon in later chapters… Oh well. We'll talk about that issue a little later. And this might have a little hint of PWP…but who am I to judge? If you can find the plot, more power to you.

If anyone wants to email me or IM me, I'm SabishiiDeath@hotmail.com and KuraiSabishii823. Lots o' love for my readers. You guys are angels.

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I smile as if these tears aren't on my face,

As if this pain's not in my heart,

But no matter how happy I pretend to be,

This life is tearing me apart…

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She stood in front of the shrine, her yellow backpack beside her, and looked out at the autumn landscape. The leaves were gold and rust and red and a lot of them were gently drifting to the ground, finally giving up on clinging to their trees. Her smile had long since faded away. The light had faded as well. It was dark.

_What time is it…?_ She thought faintly as she hauled her bag up onto her shoulders again and trudged towards her home. Her uniform was trashed again. Her mom had given up on buying new ones every time she returned from the feudal era and had just bought fifteen uniforms and put them all in her closet.

As she walked inside she didn't bother yelling that she was home. _They can figure it out themselves…_ Her mother was in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner. Her grandfather was on the couch napping, and Souta was planted in front of the TV, playing video games.

"Souta!" Kagome heard her mother call from the kitchen as she made her way up to her room, "Has Kagome returned yet? It's gotten dark already…"

"No…" He said, trying to blow some blond guys brains out with balls of light, "I didn't hear her come in…"

"I'm right here…" Kagome said dully, "I was to tired to yell when I came in…"

"Kagome," Her mother chirped happily, "Are you hungry?"

"No, mom. I ate before I came back." She yelled back as she opened her door and dropped her bag beside her bed

"How was your trip, Kagome Dear?" She her Grandpa call from the couch, "You didn't bring that demon back with you did you?"

"The trip was fine. And I left Inuyasha behind." More like snuck out while he wasn't paying attention and was very careful to stay downwind

She shut the door behind her and flopped down on her bed. Inuyasha had been extremely opposed to letting her go home lately. And he always kept her in his sight. In fact, he was acting downright strange, almost all the time. She heaved an aggravated sigh.

Kagome assumed he suspected something to attack them soon. They hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone for nearly a month. Even the rumors had died down. Naraku, Sesshoumaru, Kikyo, even Kouga had gone missing it seemed. _Or maybe they haven't and I've forgotten about it…_ She sourly thought to herself. Her memory hadn't been so good for about a month. She'd forgotten little things at first. Sometimes a pair of socks. Maybe a chocolate bar for Shippou here and there. But then it had gotten worse. At one point…she'd completely forgotten to return to the feudal era.

Miroku and Sango were worried, Inuyasha was irritated, and Shippou's feelings were hurt that every time she returned…it took a little longer to recognize him. She felt like she was losing her mind. She looked at the dark ceiling, her eyes unfocused and her mind lost off in nothingness. Maybe she was losing it. Having two realities will do things like that, wouldn't it.

"Maybe It's just stress… I've been worrying to much about school, yeah. That's it… Hm…" She mumbled idly to herself.

She didn't notice when the door opened a crack and light spilled across her face, "Or maybe it's just the monotony of life finally setting in…" She looked at her clock, amused, "Tick, tock, tick, tock-"

"Kagome…" She heard Souta's quiet voice interrupt her bemused chant, "Kagome?"

She didn't move or speak, so he continued without her acknowledging him, "Kagome, are you okay? You're starting to scare me… And mom's getting worried about you…. You're acting really weird."

She sat up and smiled at him, "Don't worry about me. I'm just tired and my mind is wandering. There's nothing wrong, I promise. Don't be such a baby." 

He hesitated for a second, but he smiled back at her, "Mom told me to ask you what you wanted to eat."

"Is it dinner time already?" She asked him

"No, you missed dinner... But mom told me to see if you wanted her to reheat something."

"No...no that's okay. I'm fine." She smiled and stood up, stretching a little, "I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep. You should go to sleep as well."

He left, not saying anything further and she shut the door behind him. Turning on the light, she saw that her room needed cleaning. Papers were scattered all over her desk and uniforms, intact and not intact, littered the floor along with other assorted clothes and a few school books. She picked up an upside down picture and looked at it. 

It was a picture of her and her friends from not so long ago, when they'd all gone to the fair. She smiled. Inuyasha could be seen in the background, leaning against a tree with that neutral look on his face. His cap was crooked and one little ear poked out from under it. She smiled more. His ears were the most adorable thing in the world. She held the photo close, reminiscing about that day.

_"Come on! Let's go on the Ferris wheel! Inuyasha, it'll be fun. I promise!" She begged and pleaded to the hanyou_

Kagome smiled. Inuyasha had hated the ferris wheel until he'd actually ridden it. Then he'd made Kagome ride it three more times with him. He liked getting stuck at the top, looking around at everything. he'd said Up in the air, there was only Kagome's scent and the vague hint of food from below. She'd never forget _that._

She set the photo down on her desk and started picking up her clothes, piling the torn uniforms up in one corner. The good ones she put back in her closet, and the other clothes she put away in her dresser. The books in her floor were her math, history, and mythology books. She couldn't help but open the myth book before she put it away.

She turned to the page where she'd highlighted a section about demons. Before she got a good chance to read the page again, tough, her mother entered the room.

"Kagome," She said tentatively, "I brought you some food. It's not much, just some cheese and crackers, but I'm sure-"

"I'm not hungry, mom..." She said, placing the book in her desk drawer for safe keeping, "I ate with Sango earlier."

"Please...Kagome, I don't like it when you go off to that place. I worry about you. I think...maybe sometimes it's not real and you...and your friends... Maybe you aren't eating right... Or maybe you just...are deteriorating there..."

She turned to face her mother, "You think it's my imagination?" She said quietly, "You think that, even though you've seen me disappear into that well, and even though you've seen Inuyasha, that none of that is real. You think I made it up?"

"Kagome, I really don't know what to think. Please, though, just to reassure me, eat something. Eat anything." She said sadly 

"No! I told you, I already ate," She said tightly to her mother, "If I were imagining that, don't you think you'd see me losing weight or something? I'm not wasting away!"

"But Kagome...you have lost weight. Look at you... Your clothes hardly fit." Her mothers voice began to rise, " The last time I bought uniforms...I had to buy them smaller than usual. The only part of you that's _not_ deteriorating is you imagination!"

She stared at her, then turned to look in the mirror, "I look fine! I'm the same weight I was two months ago!"

_It's true, Kagome... Believe me, please. Don't be so blind..._

(A/n: For anyone who doesn't know, I like to play mind games, so my stories will have a lot of mental stuff going on 99% of the time. ~.~)

She gaped at her daughter, "I can't believe you said that! Kagome, you have _lost your mind! _I forbid you from returning to that place! You will stay here and go back to school on Monday." She said sternly, "And maybe you'll wake up and face reality."

Kagome glared blandly as her mother left, slamming the door behind her. She looked drearily around her room. It was reasonably clean. Her bag still lay unpacked in the corner. She began lying the things inside out on her bed. She looked at the stuff, assessing. She wondered if she'd need more uniforms in the feudal era. She didn't plan on returning for a while.

She removed a few minor things that she wouldn't need, added a few things she would. Took out the books she'd been studying. _No point in keeping up with school anymore..._ She thought bitterly, throwing the textbooks aside. She didn't add anymore clothes. If anything, she could buy or borrow an outfit from Kaede. It would be better to start fitting in and stop having to battle in skirts.

She took her sketchbook and some pencils and sharpeners and put them in. She'd found she had a knack for drawing and had begun to exercise the skill as often as possible. She took the picture from her desk and put it in with the other stuff. She also added the mythology book. 

She took a moment to sit and rest, looking over the things she'd gathered or removed. Outside...Inuyasha watched her carefully.

-.-

"Inuyasha...you aren't going after her are you?" Miroku questioned, sitting cross-legged and watching the pacing half-demon

They'd been sitting around the fire, quiet, since Kagome had left. It was after many hours of silence that Inuyasha had exploded and begun pacing and muttering. Kaede, though, had still kept quiet, gazing into the fire with her wise old eyes.

"Why shouldn't I?" He said, unnervingly calm, "I can't believe she forgot to leave until after dark... She's been acting so strange.... I can't take it anymore. She's not Kagome anymore."

"It's been worrying me as well," Sango said nervously from Miroku's side, "The other day at the hot spring. I noticed how she'd gotten so thin. And she's been talking to herself lately. She seems to be...losing her mind bit by bit. Do you think...Naraku has put some sort of spell on her?"

Miroku looked solemnly at the ground, "I have sensed a change in her aura, but there is no sign of magic about her.

"I think perhaps...this isn't about the jewel. Or the bad guys, or even Inuyasha. I think this is something within Kagome. Kagome is being attacked from the inside. Have you noticed how her perception of reality has changed, Inuyasha?"

"Yeah... I was trying to talk to her a few days ago. I was asking about a shard, talking about a rumor," He stopped pacing to massage his temple, his right hand resting over his eyes, "And she looked at me like she couldn't even recognize me."

Sango spoke up again, "She called me Kikyo last week..." The two boys looked at her, "I didn't mention it before because I thought it may have been _my_ imagination. But it was hers. She began talking to me, calling me Kikyo and acting as if she was talking to the miko, but she was talking to her like a friend. She was talking to Kikyo...to me, about you like they were the best of friends.

"I don't know what was happening. I shook her gently...told her what she was doing. And she started crying. She's beginning to scare me..."

"There's something we've neglected. That must be it. Kagome has been hiding something and now it's attacking her. And it's all my fault..." Inuyasha said quietly, "What is it... Why is it here? Why her...?"

Kaede looked at them all and spoke quietly, "Kagome's mind is overwhelmed."

All attention was directed to the old woman, "Two contradicting lives. Two contradicting families. Two worlds. And Kagome is living in them both. Her mind is under a great pressure......... She may be slipping away from us. Into a world of her own."

"That would make three worlds..." Miroku said, "And would that not..."

Kaede nodded, "We may lose our dearest Kagome in the worst and most permanent way of all."

Silence surrounded them. And they eventually drifted off, all into a world of uncomfortable sleep. All except Inuyasha. _I'm going after her..._

Outside her window, he saw her sit down in her chair, gazing silently at the assortment of stuff on her bed. It had changed from what she usually brought. Her electronics were missing. And her books. He watched her closely, studying the way she held herself, the way she fidgeted, the way she moved up and down out of the chair senselessly for five minutes.

She was changing. Even her eyes had gone a little dull. His Kagome was slipping away. He watched her poke at the clock on her nightstand, mumbling at it, ticking along with it. She then stood up straight and looked out the window. Right past him. Almost...through him.

He waved his hand slightly, and when she didn't see him, he frantically flailed his arms around. She still didn't see him. She turned and began reassessing the things she'd left on her bed to pack. He opened the window and swung himself inside her room.

She finally turned to him, "Inuyasha! What are you doing here?" She said, surprise crossing her face

He turned away "I just...feh. I was just making sure you didn't hurt yourself or anything." His gruff words weren't backed by the usual beastliness

"Are you feeling alright?" She asked him curiously. A pained, sad look crossed his face, "Inuyasha...?"

He looked back at her, the distress evident in his eyes, "I think _I _ should be asking _you_ that. Kagome, you've been acting...so weird lately."

She became defensive, "You're the one who's been acting strange! I'm perfectly fine."

"Kagome...just look at yourself, you-"

"That again?!" She nearly screamed, "I am NOT losing weight! There's absolutely nothing wrong with me!"

"I never said anything about you losing weight! I was talking about the look in your eyes! The way you walk! " His voice rose to match hers, and got louder by the word, "But now that you mention it, look at you! You're like a fucking twig! When was the last time you ate real food?!"

"I ate with Sango just a few minutes ago, thank you very much!" She said, turning away from him with her chin in the air

"Kagome..." He said, turning her to face him, "You weren't even IN the past five minutes ago! You've been gone for hours! You ate with Sango a couple of days ago!"

"Wha..I... What are you talking about?! Of course I ate!" She huffed, fighting the urge to sit him, "You're being such a jerk!"

"Kagome! You didn't eat dinner with us... You went looking for herbs, remember?" He said softly, pulling her to him gently, "You're starting to scare me. I'm worried about you."

Her anger faltered and she looked at his soft features, "I...don't know what's happening to me..." She shoved him away, "Go away... Just leave me alone Inuyasha."

"Kago-"

"NO! That's enough!" She screamed, her hands clasped over her ears, "I don't want to hear anymore! That's it. Stop telling me what to do! I...can't...think straight!"

"Fine." He sadly ducked back outside to stand in the yard for a while, "Do what you want..."

When she didn't do anything he left. _Keh...it's her problem... _Kagome was left to herself. She sobbed quietly as she repacked her bag. Inuyasha was against her too... She hauled her backpack over her shoulder and crept out the window, climbing carefully down the tree outside. 

She'd run away to the feudal era. She'd find a place to settle down in. And she'd never face any of them again. It would work... She took the jump. 

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Okay guys, please R&R. I do accept flames, but I must warn you I am very willing to torch you with your own flame. I just asked my Grandma to mail me the floppy disks with all my updates for other stories on them, so I'll be doing a whole lot of updating in the next week. K? Love ya. Bai bai.


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